It is an individual matter, and can involve some trial and error:
Make-it-up as You-go-Along. People are more likely to be psychic or
sensitive if a parent was. Or protected, or whatever. But people can
read up, listen to others, and think on. Whether people see UFOs or not
can run in families. People I've known who were brought up on a farm
seemed very intuitive. No-one should ever use their gifts to scare you,
or to make money from you or take advantage of you. Bear in mind that
they can also be Wrong.
You can make sure that you have good locks, that no-one can see right in your windows, that you are careful over the Internet & what you say. In my early employment days, I went for an interview where the owner said 'Be careful what you say, because there are people here who pry.' I recently broke contact with someone I'd known for years. She acted as though incompetent in her own life, while fixating on me and anyone I ever mentioned, forgetting nothing. She was stringing along professional helpers who liked and supported her, but reinforced her helplessness till it was too late: It seems more likely she was the 'professional player'. It felt I was being goaded for playground sport, as happens on social media with a vengeance. Bullying can be subtle or covert, sometimes a way of grooming.
The person feels they can behave as they wish, while implying no-one can do anything: They are useful to the workplace, or not well, elderly, vulnerable, can't handle a challenge or row. My guess is I am now being put-down to others as the new name-of-the-game. Why would I not gently say something? People need their defence mechanisms, but one doesn't have to collude with them, and in my view to do so is inappropriate. In a work setting you may have to grin & bear some things, but try to maintain boundaries. Teamwork and seamlessness are not my favourite words. In some jobs you are never expected to draw a line. Is that a con? Organisations that focus inwards are more likely to go to the wall. My contact who focussed on the minutiae of my life, made it harder for me to get on with more important issues. When this happens in workplaces, it's like fiddling while Rome burns. You can watch employees who actually seem to want the organisation to go to the wall, and you along with.
Hint: If you go for a job interview or similar, and they harp on about behaviour or inadequacies of your predecessor, or how quickly they were shown the door... be careful, though naturally different people fit into different slots. The same sort of thing applies when someone you think pretty decent, makes snide comments about other people or their inadequacies, not just once but often.
Watch out for infringement of your boundaries. Sometimes others form a kind of 'unholy alliance' to undermine others. Quite why reasonably attractive people, in good health, capable, in employment, having apparently good relationships, living in nice homes, find it necessary in any way to target people who are less fortunate, is a mystery! I guess it harks back to playground days. Maybe it just follows what appears to be the line of least resistance - until that fights back, or simply ignores it.
If you juggle several aspects about something or someone, you will see the mosaic before others. If you feel uneasy, you can only do your best to fulfil a role. Find a way to withdraw if you need to. People can maintain a camouflage for a very long time. Sometimes an obsession develops and settles on you. Occasionally a perceptive other person sees it and backs you up, but usually it is down to you to pick up the pieces. The simplest way to describe some of this is 'living vicariously' through someone else, which is a natural part of life so long as it doesn't go too far over boundaries and become oppressive. Relationships take many forms, and we usually settle on getting along with some leeway. You may manage to renegotiate, or you may not.
If you are being stalked physically or emotionally, or something like it happens online, there are useful books on Amazon, and anti-stalking advice online. Stalking is an obsession. It can be dangerous, and you need to be careful. Don't engage.
You can make sure that you have good locks, that no-one can see right in your windows, that you are careful over the Internet & what you say. In my early employment days, I went for an interview where the owner said 'Be careful what you say, because there are people here who pry.' I recently broke contact with someone I'd known for years. She acted as though incompetent in her own life, while fixating on me and anyone I ever mentioned, forgetting nothing. She was stringing along professional helpers who liked and supported her, but reinforced her helplessness till it was too late: It seems more likely she was the 'professional player'. It felt I was being goaded for playground sport, as happens on social media with a vengeance. Bullying can be subtle or covert, sometimes a way of grooming.
The person feels they can behave as they wish, while implying no-one can do anything: They are useful to the workplace, or not well, elderly, vulnerable, can't handle a challenge or row. My guess is I am now being put-down to others as the new name-of-the-game. Why would I not gently say something? People need their defence mechanisms, but one doesn't have to collude with them, and in my view to do so is inappropriate. In a work setting you may have to grin & bear some things, but try to maintain boundaries. Teamwork and seamlessness are not my favourite words. In some jobs you are never expected to draw a line. Is that a con? Organisations that focus inwards are more likely to go to the wall. My contact who focussed on the minutiae of my life, made it harder for me to get on with more important issues. When this happens in workplaces, it's like fiddling while Rome burns. You can watch employees who actually seem to want the organisation to go to the wall, and you along with.
Hint: If you go for a job interview or similar, and they harp on about behaviour or inadequacies of your predecessor, or how quickly they were shown the door... be careful, though naturally different people fit into different slots. The same sort of thing applies when someone you think pretty decent, makes snide comments about other people or their inadequacies, not just once but often.
Watch out for infringement of your boundaries. Sometimes others form a kind of 'unholy alliance' to undermine others. Quite why reasonably attractive people, in good health, capable, in employment, having apparently good relationships, living in nice homes, find it necessary in any way to target people who are less fortunate, is a mystery! I guess it harks back to playground days. Maybe it just follows what appears to be the line of least resistance - until that fights back, or simply ignores it.
If you juggle several aspects about something or someone, you will see the mosaic before others. If you feel uneasy, you can only do your best to fulfil a role. Find a way to withdraw if you need to. People can maintain a camouflage for a very long time. Sometimes an obsession develops and settles on you. Occasionally a perceptive other person sees it and backs you up, but usually it is down to you to pick up the pieces. The simplest way to describe some of this is 'living vicariously' through someone else, which is a natural part of life so long as it doesn't go too far over boundaries and become oppressive. Relationships take many forms, and we usually settle on getting along with some leeway. You may manage to renegotiate, or you may not.
If you are being stalked physically or emotionally, or something like it happens online, there are useful books on Amazon, and anti-stalking advice online. Stalking is an obsession. It can be dangerous, and you need to be careful. Don't engage.
For biological/technical methods of control, please go to
https://doubledstandards.blogspot.com and scroll to Invasive Technology. See also Mind Invasive Tech at https://invasivetech.blogspot.com where links to many researchers appear in the top panel.
December 2021
Blog on things to try to shield yourself & your environment from possible effects of 5G, EMF is now up at
If you are in a situation of domestic violence, get good advice. Also explore coercive control.
If you become the target of an emotional, underhanded onslaught from someone, or railroading, take steps to protect yourself and your home the best ways you can. If you feel more comfortable with, say, rabbit or dinosaur ornaments on the shelf, try it. Some things seem to work without being part of an ideological framework. (Maybe that is why they do.) Get curtains you like, or some material to drape over. Work on your own environment, learning as you do. What I can tell you, is it will puzzle them when their antics don't work. I liken it to pulling down the shutters and closing up shop: No more deals possible. Another analogy could be someone trying to crash your system, where you're the computer getting hacked and data corrupted, unable to continue your course, or life path. Watch out. Some people take advantage of your 'disadvantage', giving you an impression or partial information, and watching as you try to grasp things. It happens from parents to children, or supervisors and individuals in-the-know in the workplace. A kind of power play.
I've referred to railroading above. Also I thought of derail, and demolish. Take Your Pick. There are things we don't fully understand when two people, for instance, have such a strong reaction to each other that it overtakes the life and equilibrium of one or both. Watching two-way office spats and online warfare, one wonders if things would turn out differently if one party could shrug some of it off. Is it something in the genes, the family patterns or culture, who someone reminds you of, influence of the weather, our metabolism, our destiny, the planets? Sometimes it could be a past-life connection, or just a resonance or theme. Maybe we'll never know, but it's worth considering withdrawal, at least for a while. It could even play itself out, leaving you out-of-that-loop. And lest I forget: When you see one of these episodes, Stay Away!
Q: Ever backed the wrong candidate? A: Sure I have. Many times.
Important Footnote: A pretty young woman walked up to me at a meeting, and said she needed advice on controlling her mind. For some reason I asked if she meant herself, or someone else doing it to her. Quick as a flash, a 90-year old gentleman nearby said 'Someone has built a bridge towards you, and you need to find how to stop him.'
Is it something in my stars that I've been at the butt end of people's weirdness, and have collected snippets along the way? The psychic friend who did my astrology chart better than anyone else, gave more advice. I am not psychic, but had bought things at a sale and one made me uncomfortable. My friend, who one might think would never allow random items within a mile, said 'I shove things in a strong black binbag and tie the top.' Several books I ordered that gave off the same feeling, were relegated straight to the shed. So don't necessarily think you must be imagining things, or cannot do anything about them.
Did you ever prepare to get to an event or to meet someone, get halfway there or right to the door, and turn around? Or fall asleep and miss the train? Sometimes one hears about what happened there, and thanks those 'lucky stars'.
You may have reached this page in the hope of finding some strategy to help you through a dire personal situation. My best advice is to try to avoid getting drawn into relationships or activities that could turn problematic. I know things can happen very fast, but keep a weather eye open, ready to extract yourself. People tried to involve me in an occult group that advertised in a London newspaper. Other times I attended various introductory lectures, and held discussion groups. More than one person warned me about other activities that some members engaged in. So be careful. Not everything/everyone are as they seem, and you may be happy with some things but not others. Reading the work of authors who got more deeply involved and 'duped', they seem to take an avoidance path, cutting themselves off from those people, rather than confronting them. When running our own groups, the next couple of dates were given out, but no further into the future than that.
To see the lead-in to this Blog, please go to https://notincharacter.blogspot.com
Link to Cultures or Cults: Do They Hypnotise Us? https://notincharacter.blogspot.com/2019/01/blog-post_10.html
For more on Souls, crime, groups, heredity, skip to
Full Circle: Wrapping Things Up https://notincharacter.blogspot.com/2019/01/blog-post_54.html
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| Cuckooing, infiltration |
Assault on the Mind
About ten years ago, a stalking case raised the issue of GBH or Actual
Bodily assault to the mind, a kind of psychiatric injury or trauma. I
remember having high hopes we'd be able to use it in cases of cult
trauma or influence. Someone who was deeply harassed by a powerful cult member, asked if it is possible to suffer PTSD due to one person. I believe so in principle, though am sure other people would draw technical distinctions of definition.
Any ideas? - apart from the effect bad bosses have on their staff?
Or nosy neighbours?
In the past, I had stalking attention in a workplace setting on late shifts, though am no spring chicken and don't dress up. People didn't believe me, till one day the boss said 'That guy only comes in when you're here on your own.' I said 'Yes, and could I have a lock on my door, and a chain on that one.' The same man appeared at a subsequent crazy late-hour stint of employment. Any attempt to brush a stalker off or to show annoyance, simply registers as interaction, so watch yourself and don't talk to them. Stalking is a way of controlling aspects of their target's life, a kind of cuckooing, with far-reaching effects.
Any ideas? - apart from the effect bad bosses have on their staff?
Or nosy neighbours?
Know your own limits. A recent episode of Perry Mason showed him saying 'I've just been taken for a prize booby', so it happens to us all once in a while.
In the past, I had stalking attention in a workplace setting on late shifts, though am no spring chicken and don't dress up. People didn't believe me, till one day the boss said 'That guy only comes in when you're here on your own.' I said 'Yes, and could I have a lock on my door, and a chain on that one.' The same man appeared at a subsequent crazy late-hour stint of employment. Any attempt to brush a stalker off or to show annoyance, simply registers as interaction, so watch yourself and don't talk to them. Stalking is a way of controlling aspects of their target's life, a kind of cuckooing, with far-reaching effects.
Cuckooing of the Mind
There are various methods of trying to take control over someone, starting with gaining trust or sympathy. We may do some of this in the normal way of things, perhaps trading one thing for another in a relationship. Done with skill and intent, it becomes immoral and dishonest: misrepresentation - i.e. a veritable scam, or fraud. Starting from small beginnings, it can overtake the mark's life, or soul. Another way of viewing The Mark of the Beast? Is this how Cults work?It is not always the case that someone with an abusive past needs to control or lash out, but there appear to be some similarities in abusive experiences when young, and some people with exposure to Cults.
I looked out books on difficult interactions. Each has a paragraph about people who are manipulative or obsessive, and advises putting distance between yourself and them, rather than meeting head-on, or trying to explain. Discretion is the better part of valour.
If you find yourself in an awkward situation; get support if you can, although others may not understand how it is for you. Some things die down over time. Some do not. Preferably, don't see anyone manipulative alone. They appear to have no concept of boundaries, but know exactly how to crash them. You could get someone to wait outside for you, so you can see them or their car. I have a dislike of psychological labels, so have been rather longwinded - You can take a shortcut and search for female narcissism. Not all of it will fit, but you'll see none of it is basically your fault. Also see the work of Joe Navarro on 'Dangerous Personalities'.
There are indications that emotional suffering such as from bullying, ostracism, shunning, rejection, or breakup of a love affair, can cause people to feel as they would with physical pain. The physiological indications are very similar. See the work of Professor Kipling Williams.
Shunning is used in Cults to keep people in line. It causes a great deal of pain, splitting up families and isolating people. Scientology calls their version of showing disapproval and causing punishment 'Fair Game', words which have become common in describing vengeance. Is it a fair route to follow? Is it worth it? I recently came across the concept of revenger narrative in profiling, which sounds like what I describe as misplaced vendetta, when someone with bad experiences attacks others, as though there is valid excuse for their behaviour.
Tabs along the top link to information on some subjects touched on in these Blogs.
For more resources & links on Memory & Bad Therapy visit Middlegroundable page https://middlegroundable.blogspot.co/ mbtrak, I had time to 2012/01/blog-post_9097.html
This Site continues some themes from a collective Blog of 10 years ago which is still up at https://toukanalia.blogspot.com, with more at https://notincharacter.blogspot.com
Blog on things to try to shield yourself & your environment from possible effects of 5G, EMF is now up at
To see all of this Blog on one page, use https://groupsandminds.blogspot.com
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